Friday 10 July 2020

Father's Day: A day for commemoration but also a day of hurt


Father'S Day, Dad, Feeling, Blacks Mustache, Mustache


Good morning/afternoon/
evening,you beautiful people!

I wrote just last week but it somehow feels like it's been forever!
I hope that this blog post finds in good health and spirit.

As a young woman who does not have a relationship with her father. I know first hand how hard it can be to let go of someone who you thought would love , cherish and be by your side forever.

Father's Day is wonderful day to commemorate the strong and amazing fathers/men in our lives. For others, it's a dagger in the heart and a reminder of what has been, will never be or has never, ever been. A father is rock and someone really special in a child's life regardless of the child's gender.


This particular Father's Day was very quiet for me. I was not that active on social media because I did not want to see the influx of people celebrating their fathers' but it got me thinking. I know that I am not the only one experiencing pain and loss. I knew that it would be dishonest of me not to be open about this. I know the comfort of having both parents and struggle and pain of having a single mom so I safely say that I have experienced both sides of the spectrum.

It was quite a painful experience knowing what I am missing out on but what helps me is something my mom told me. ''I have to let go of what I will never have.'' My father and I used to do my technology projects together, it was some form of bonding and this year I had to do it all by myself which really hit home for me. I slowly am letting go of the fact that I will never be able to sit and just talk again, never have someone to walk me down the aisle, etc. Which honestly is painful but better to come to accept and make peace with the past , then to fight it.

There are times which I am doing really, really well and others I need to pause and take a moment. What also really helps is gratitude. Being sincerely grateful for time that I had with him and the whatever good that I can learn from him. Accepting and honouring him from a distance and knowing that he did the best the he knew how. Leaving it at that , no judgement, no fear , no bias, letting him go and setting myself free.

As young child ,I know that blaming yourself is common, trust me I have been there. The continuous thoughts of what went wrong? What did I do wrong? What could I have done differently? It goes on and on. Know the absence of your father is not your fault , it never has been and never will be. 

You are not a saviour , people cannot be saved by people, we are not the Almighty. I know that many people , people who don't have daddy issues (by the way) say ''pray for him''. I know just how hard that can be , as in cause pain to even think about. I say pray for forgiveness and freedom. I do not know your particular issue nor what went down. I know that it's a journey ,it's a long road. So take it easy.Some days will be easy and others will hurt like hell. It's  a process,just take it one step at a time.


Hi, ya! This was particularly hard to write but I hope that this has helped you!

I love you all so dearly!💚

Wishing you a magical weekend!

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